Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Boys Have Lost It

Ok, so I have the worst head cold in the history of man. Yesterday I got out of bed only to land in the leather recliner, that I affectionately refer to as my bark-o-lounger, in the family room for the better part of the day and night. I dozed on and off but had the misfortune of being awake when Lost Boys: The Tribe came on the tube. Oh lucky me!

The Tribe was released in July 2008 - 20 years after the original LB - and went straight to dvd if that gives you any clue as to how bad this flick is.

Where to begin?? Ok, the first scene opens with our modern tribe of young vampires jumping a fence to surf off a private beach. The head of this vamp tribe, Shane, is played by Angus Sutherland the younger half-brother of Kiefer Sutherland - original LB head vampire David. When confronted by the owner (played by none other than Tom Savini) who is also a vampire, they slaughter him and take over his beach house.

Enter Chris and Nicole, a brother and sister who lost their parents to a car wreck. They move into a beach rental owned by their Aunt Jillian. (Somewhere I remember reading that the siblings were the offspring of Michael and Star from the first LB but I didn't pick that up from the movie. Did I miss it?)

Chris, also a surfer, meets up with Shane who invites him to a party at the beach house. At the party Nicole is seduced by Shane and drinks his blood from his handy-dandy flask thus making her a half vampire.

Now this is where the fun begins. Enter Corey Feldman in the role of Edgar Frog now a surf board shaper and master of the bad wise crack. He tells Chris that in order to save his sister he must slay the head vampire. They hatch a plan for Chris to join up with the tribe and then betray them at the last moment. (Are you on the edge of your seat yet?)

No need to go any further as the plot (ha) can pretty much be predicted from here on out (blood, chaos and vampires dying). But let me get back to the cast...

Gabrielle Rose (Aunt Jillian) serves no real purpose to the movie and probably should have been left on the cutting room floor. Her attempts at humor are boorish at best and we can thank the Gods of cinema that she appears only a few times.

Angus Sutherland (Shane) has a sexy, rock and roll thing going on in this movie which is sure to make the hearts of teenage girls go pity pat. I'm sure many a tween would be lining up for a life of immortality if they got to spend it with him.

Chris (Tad Hilgenbrink) and Nicole (Autumn Reeser) did their parts and looked good doing it but I'm sorry to say their was nothing stand out about either of them.

Corey Feldman (Edgar Frog). What to say about one of the "Corey's"? He delivers his lines in this tough, hardened voice that sounds utterly stupid. His one-liners (even more stupid) include "Your sister's a suck monkey" and "Build a man a fire, he's warm for a day. Light a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life." WTF?

Oh, and one other little tidbit...right after the credits start to roll Edgar (Feldman) confronts Sam (Corey Haim) who has crossed over to the vampire dark side. Please, oh please tell me this isn't setting the scene for a sequel?!

Why did I sit through the entire thing? Perhaps because I lacked the strength to click the remote. I confess I felt pretty crappy so maybe the movie isn't quite this bad? No - really it is.


  1. Haha, I have heard some pretty bad things about this, but I love your optimism at trying to give it a chance in your last line or two... that cracked me up.

  2. Hey Dawn, I'm all about giving the benefit of the doubt but I'm not about to watch it again to be sure it sucked (no pun intended) LOL


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