Black Friday Turkey

Ahhhhhhhh Thanksgiving. One of those few days of the year where the only places open are convenience stores and K-Mart. It's also the day before Black Friday which means after you collapse from your Tryptophan laden turkey dinner you can peruse the sales fliers and organize a plan of attack on that Christmas shopping list.

At this very moment there are people laying out their ads, making lists, comparing prices and organizing their relatives for their assault on holiday shopping. Strategies are being laid out and if you don't have one by the time you get in line, well, then you're an amateur.

I always had a strategy. I talked to employees as they entered the building to find out where the items I wanted were located. My list was ranked, taking into consideration scarcity, best price and "must haves". I focused on one store only and there was never a time I wasn't one of the first 5 in line. This is commercialism in it's finest hour.

If this is your first venture into the Black Friday arena here a few tips we've picked up over the years by watching the pros:

* Don't go too early. Wait until about 20 minutes before the store opens and stand off to the side. Once the doors open everyone who's been waiting for 2 hours will be so focused on getting in that they won't notice that you cut in line in front of them.

* When the doors open don't walk - run! If you drop your keys, purse, coat - keep running. The only time to stop is if you drop your list.

* If someone grabs what you want promptly yank it out of their hands and whack them over the head with it

* Don't let someone's cart stand in your way - hurdle it. Really, you can make it.

Personally I no longer go out on Black Friday until at least 10am. These days there's rarely a deal that makes me want to stand in line at 4am freezing my nether regions off and getting acquainted with people who'd rather kill me than lose the chance to get a bargain.

See, Halloween isn't so scary after all.